Want A Better Marriage? Learn To Listen To Your Spouse

4 min readMay 25, 2020

Opening your heart to your spouse is the best feeling in the world. Listening is a form of love and can truly transform your relationship with your spouse. If you claim to love someone and that person has to think million times before opening up to you. It is not loving.

Be a good listener for your spouse.

When you’re communicating with your spouse, use loving gestures and body language to let them know that you care and interested in what they are talking about. Simple gestures like holding eye contact and nodding to affirm can help.

When your spouse speaks to you, it gives you a window into their world and their perspective. For your spouse, knowing that you’re listening from empathy helps them to feel secure.

When your spouse needs to talk to you about something difficult. It’s easy to get wrapped up and carried away in emotions.

When your spouse has concerns, listen to them. Especially if it’s something hard such as family issues, your mother said something to your wife or something at home hurt her or something happened in the workplace. Don’t become defensive, but rather try to understand why it is a problem for them. Listen patiently.

Do not multitask when your spouse is talking. Put your phone down and turn off the TV. Understand that something that might not matter for you can have a huge impact on your spouse’s mental health and in your relationship.

Try to look at the matter from their side. Try to look at things from their point of view. I know it's hard but try to put yourself on their shoes.

Don’t pass demeaning comments. Don’t judge them for feeling what they are feeling. Don’t make them feel guilty for their feelings. Remember that they are already hurt.

When your spouse is talking something that has hurt them then do not start defending the other people. This happens very often when the family involved. Listen yo your spouse and understand how much it impacted them. make them feel like you are on their side no matter what. Make them feel like they can trust you without having a fear of being judged. The most couple does not understand this but able to open up to someone you love without even thinking twice is the best feeling in the world.

Remember that your spouse is opening up to you because they trust you. They might have been bottling up the hurt feelings for very long. They know that you can understand what they are going through. They know that you love them and trust them. Please don’t prove them wrong.

Try to identify what your spouse is feeling whether it’s anger, sadness, frustration, anxiety, or excitement. Try to identify the cause of that feeling by talking to them. by connecting with them to a deeper level. It will help you to adjust your responses based on their emotional state. It gives you an extra chance to check yourself before you say or do something that might hurt them even more. Do not react impulsively. Because your spouse can forget about the hurt caused by others after some time but they will never be able to forget the hurt caused by you. Because the deeper the bond, the painful the hurt.

Your spouse needs the gift of your time and attention. It’s hard to take time out of our busy lives to listening when there is already a lot going in our minds, but communicating openly is key to a healthy marriage.

When you listen generously, your spouse will feel secure in coming to you with their concerns, hopes, and fears.

For now, signing off until next post.

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Want A Better Marriage? Learn To Listen To Your Spouse

Written by Chetna Tripathi